Conversations when you first meet someone

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conversations when you first meet someone

That would depend. What do you mean by “deep” conversation? Do you mean an intellectually stimulatating, thought provoking conversation etc. as opposed to . It happens often: you meet someone new, exchange smiles, say, “hi” or “hello,” and that's Humor is good, but do not overdo it in first meeting. I've separated the topics into sections (topics to get the conversation started, topics to These are your run of the mill, first meeting someone, topics to talk about.

They may be anxious about talking to someone they don't know.

How to Start a Conversation With Anyone

They may be intimidated by certain types of people and hesitant to try to talk to them. If that's the case, it's important to work on increasing your comfort levels.

Check out the section of the site devoted to that cluster of issues: When you start talking to someone, do it in more or less the same manner as if you were going up to someone you already know and are friendly with. Don't go too far and be inappropriately familiar with people, but at the same time, you don't need to be overly formal and courteous and restrained around acquaintances and strangers.

When you follow this suggestion you'll naturally adopt a warmer, more confident attitude and put the other person at ease. It also means it's often okay to skip any formal introductions or getting-to-know-you talk and jump right to a more interesting topic, especially in more casual settings.

Like you could go up to a friend of a friend at a party and immediately start talking about a recent bit of news. Of course, if you want to go the route of introducing yourself first that has its advantages too.

Just don't feel you have to always follow that template. It's good to have a backup plan for if your opening line fizzles Sometimes you'll say something to start a conversation and the other person replies, but doesn't give you much to work with. By far the most classic example is when you ask someone how they're doing and they say "fine" or "good".

conversations when you first meet someone

Or you may ask them about a movie they recently saw, and they'll say "It was okay. You could ask a more specific follow-up question, ask about another topic, or make a new statement. In general, as you get better at thinking on your feet like this, it can free you up to ask whatever type of conversation starter you want. Even if the other person doesn't answer in an ideal way, you know you can follow up and recover the interaction. General ways to start a conversation Before I get into the various ways you can initiate a conversation, I'll refer you to my quick disclaimer about the use of examples.

I've also kept the examples a bit generic. Talking like this is often fine, and you don't need to always come up with extremely colorful, creative opening lines. These lines can be used on individuals or groups. I also wrote a short article that more specifically talks about joining group discussions.

There's some definite overlap with this article, but it covers some additional ideas related to that topic. Since I list lots of options, and no one can realistically be expected to remember them all, I'd recommend that when you're in a situation where you want to talk to someone that you just go with one of the first opening lines that pops into your head since they're all equally good. Or if you want to prepare ahead of time, figure out a few conversation starters that you feel you'd be comfortable using.

For people you don't know you can introduce yourself If you're meeting someone for the first time, you can always start the conversation by introducing yourself. This especially applies to more formal business situations: Nice to meet you I'm Amy from some company. If not, you just traded names, and you essentially have to use another conversation starter to get it going for real.

With new people you don't always have to introduce yourself to start talking to them. You could start the conversation in another way, and after a while it will only feel natural to introduce yourselves to each other - "I'm Kara, by the way" Ask the person how they ended up in the situation you're all in This mainly applies to new people, but you could also use it to start a conversation with someone you've chatted to briefly a few times before, but you haven't asked this information of them yet.

I checked the temperature online and it's 37 degrees Celsius with the humidity. Ask a question about the situation Sometimes you'll actually have a question about the situation you're in, and it's only natural to use it to start talking to someone.

Though I think of all the ways to start a conversation, this is the one where people will 'white lie' the most. They aren't really dying to know the answer to something and are just using the question as an excuse to talk. Some people feel they have to use this type of conversation starter, because it seems more spontaneous and natural, or doesn't put them on the line for rejection as much because they have the face-saving explanation that they really were trying to find something out.

In general though, when you're just chatting to people for friendly reasons, it's perfectly fine to start a conversation more directly.

Did the prof hand out a course outline?

conversations when you first meet someone

It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training. Ask them a question about themselves Depending on what you're questioning them about, this one can overlap a bit with asking people about the situation you're all in.

Some of these may be a bit too jarring if you ask them right away to someone you just walked up to, but can seem totally fine if you've introduced yourself first.

If you've talked to someone before, and are just starting a new conversation, you can generally dive in more. The question you ask may be a context-free 'getting to know you' one, or you may jump right into a more specific topic if you've gotten a sense it's something they'd be interested in talking about. Compliments would also fall into this category. I get a sense you might be. Where did you get it?

The odd person will get a bit flustered and not know how to take it if you make an observation about them or give them a compliment. They may be a bit insecure, and think you might be criticizing them somehow.

How To Impress Literally Everyone You Meet

For example, if you comment that they seem artistic, their mind may jump to, "They're saying I come across as weird and flakey". I work for a travel agency. Before that I waited tables at a few different restaurants around town. A willingness to share information about yourself causes other people to instinctively find you trustworthy, while exclusively asking questions and not offering any information about yourself can come across as ingenuine and put the other person under a lot of pressure.

Make sure to spend roughly the same amount of time talking as you do asking questions. I start off by saying: How are you doing? This will also make you more memorable and easier to find should the other person ever need to contact you. This question helps you determine if you have any mutual friends. However, to turn a simple question into a full-blown conversation you must be able to ask follow-up questions that elaborate on the response the person gives.

Here are some examples: Some follow-up ideas include asking if they like it, how long they have been doing it, if they have any free time, what they do in their free time, and so on. Perhaps they know each other through a group or met at an event. I ask them about what type of group it is.

What do they do there? Is it hard to learn? If they are childhood friends with someone, I might ask where they grew up. Asking how the person is liking the social event expresses that you care whether they are enjoying themselves.

How to start a conversation with anyone - The complete guide - Socialpro

Even though you may have just met the person, expressing an appropriate amount of care and concern is a great way to bond with someone and pave the way for future conversations and rapport-building. There are several different types of responses you may receive when you ask this question. This is easier for you to respond to, as the door is now open for you to share the things you are enjoying at the event.

These types of events always make me nervous. Good thing we met, huh? We can stick together! If the person is from the same town as me, I ask them what area they live in and how they like it there. The whole building is Memphis Tiger-themed! It was one of my favorite spots in college. You can also ask what their favorite things to do in that area are in case you ever visit. When discussing hometowns, you can also ask if they have family there. Some follow-up questions include: This can quickly and easily create bonding experiences that may lead to deeper conversation.

It sucks to get stuck in job talk.

conversations when you first meet someone

But it can be helpful to know what someone is working with, as it will help you find mutual interests. Not everyone may find your job as interesting as you do, and no matter what the topic is, if you talk about the same thing for too long it will inevitably become boring.

To avoid this, just change the subject by asking: This is my favorite question! No matter what they reply, you can now begin sharing your own passions and dreams. In my opinion, passions and dreams are the most rewarding subjects you can bring up with someone.

These questions should help you to avoid any awkward silences that may otherwise come up, but make sure to also read this chapter on how to avoid awkward silence. These seven questions have helped me start great conversations with so many people. If you want a flying start, memorize them and practice them whenever you get the chance. Ask them in the way that feels most natural to you, and keep them in mind for use when your conversations begin to lull.

Then you can begin using the 7 universal questions for making conversation. Who are you talking to? What are their interests, hobbies, career aspirations, hometowns, etc.? What is the current situation?

conversations when you first meet someone

Is it the cake-cutting ceremony at a wedding, or is it a business meeting? What time is the social interaction taking place? Is it after morning rush hour, or is it ate at night? Use the location of your social interaction to fuel your small talk. In other words, there are times when it would be perfectly acceptable for you to remain silent and not socialize with the people around you as opposed to events where it would not be acceptable for you to remain silent.

Instead, you first need to say something related to the situation.